Serwa Boateng's Guide to Vampire Hunting (Volume 1) by Roseanne A. Brown

Author:Roseanne A. Brown [Brown, Roseanne A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Disney Book Group
Published: 2022-07-21T00:00:00+00:00

“Regard the gods with nothing but respect and humility and respect. It is thanks to their gifts that we do what we do.”

—From the Nwoma

At first, all I can do is stare, because it WORKED. My summons worked and I am currently, right now at this moment talking to an actual live goddess.

Omg, omg, omg, omg, omg.

Asaase Yaa lifts a perfectly threaded eyebrow as I continue to stare openmouthed like a fish at her. “Am I wrong? Was it not you who called me here?”

The goddess’s voice is smooth and rich, like the feeling of running fresh leaves between your fingers. Part of me wants to jog around the café whooping and cheering. But I am nothing if not a professional, so I slide into the booth across from her as if I talk to earth goddesses literally every day. Roxy lifts a What the heck are you doing? eyebrow at me, but I just mouth Give me a minute.

“You came. You…You really came,” I say. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I summoned you over in the woods hours ago. What are you doing in here?”

“Oh yes, that quaint little shrine in the forest. I heard your call, and I was on my way there when— Oh, wait, look at this perfect lighting! One second, dear.” She stops in mid-sentence to take several more pictures of her food, including a few selfies of her making a duck face over her salad. “Yes, thank you. What was I saying?”

“Um, the quaint little shrine?”

“Yes, the one with the Capri Sun! Right. I was on my way, but then I saw this adorable little hole-in-the-wall place, and I just knew I had to come in and snap a few pics for my followers.”

I fight to hide my confusion. “The followers of your religion back in Ghana?”

“What? No, my followers online! You have to upload new content every day if you want to stay on top of these algorithms. I don’t have anything scheduled for tomorrow, so the timing of this meeting could not be better.”

The more Asaase Yaa speaks, the farther she gets from the image of the all-loving divine being I had in my head. At the very least, she must have used some magic to mask our conversation, because nobody in the cafe is even looking at us. “Are you a blogger?”

“I prefer the term eco-influencer.”

“But your whole thing is nature! Leaves and flora and the connection between life and death. Shouldn’t you be above all that fake social media stuff?”

Asaase Yaa laughs and shakes her head, flooding my nose with even more of her lilac scent. “Darling, you are about fifty years too late for my bra-burning hippie phase. If there is one thing to know about the earth, it’s that it changes. I change along with it, even if people’s expectations of me don’t.”

Okay, so maybe Asaase Yaa isn’t what I expected, but a goddess is still a goddess. I don’t care if she spends every waking minute live-streaming nonsense as long as she helps us.

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